Where There's Smoke by Simon Beckett

Author:Simon Beckett
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Irish, Welsh, Scottish, Modern fiction, Drama, General, Human, English, Artificial insemination, Fiction, Espionage & spy thriller
ISBN: 9780340685938
Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton
Published: 1998-08-19T23:00:00+00:00

"Okay."

She looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry about tonight.

About what happened."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does. You got dragged into a

situation that ... well,

it wasn't your problem."

"You don't have to tell me."

"Yes, I do, I owe you an

explanation, at least."

Kate felt

the need of a brandy herself. But she was determined to

abstain. She wasn't going to risk anything interfering with the chances of

becoming pregnant. "I used to be involved

with Paul. We were at the same agency for a while, but then things got

unpleasant and I left. I didn't see him for years, but then I won a pitch

he wanted, and he lost his job, and

now he blames me."

Alex looked into his glass. "How involved were you?"

"We lived together for over

a year. I thought ... well, I

was thinking in terms of marriage and babies. I must have

been stupid."

"Why?"

"Oh, it isn't really worth going into."

To her surprise,

though, she found she wanted to. "I just

didn't see what sort of person Paul was, that's all. He was the agency's

marketing director, and I was the new girl. I

suppose I was flattered that he took an interest in me. It

took a while for me to realise he was taking an interest

in half the other girls in the office as well. And anybody

else that took his fancy. By the time I did, we were living together."

Kate swallowed. She could feel Alex watching her.

"Anyway, eventually I confronted him. He denied it, and

like a fool I believed him. But then something else would

happen, and I'd confront him again, and he'd deny it again. That went on

for a while, and then one night we had a

blazing row. You know, a real vase smasher. And he didn't

deny it any more. He said - he said it was my fault. That

I drove him to it."

She stopped, remembering the crushing lack of self-

respect. She shook it off and went on.

"I should have left him then, but ... well, I didn't. We

made up. But now he knew he could get away with it, he

didn't even try very hard to hide what he was doing any

more. And then -" She broke off.

"What?" Alex asked.

"Nothing. I just left him."

"What were you going to say?"

"Nothing," she repeated, but there was no

conviction in

her voice. She could feel Alex watching her.

"He gave me VD."

Part of her couldn't believe she was telling him this. Only Lucy knew, and

she never alluded to it. Kate could feel the rawness and shame surfacing

again, but also a relief at telling someone. Telling Alex.

"The doctor at the hospital told me it was nothing serious, only

gonorrhoea, and that a course of antibiotics would clear it. So then I told

Paul. And he ... uh, he blamed me. Called me a slut and a whore, and

accused me of giving it to him.

He knew I hadn't, but it was easier than accepting he was

in the wrong. And I suppose he was upset because he knew

he'd have to go for treatment himself, and get in touch with all the girls

he'd slept with recently. He'd got to take it out on somebody. So he threw

me out of the flat we were sharing.

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